Lessons From Kylo Ren

The following post contains basic information from the movie "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" with regard to the labeled villain Kylo Ren. The following should not be considered "spoilers" but I want to be sure you know I will be referencing the movie in my examples.

If we are honest and open with ourselves, we can learn anything from any source. Many times our best inspiration comes from things and entities one might consider "negative". That is the case here with a few points I would like to make about the newest villain in the Star Wars saga, Kylo Ren. Kylo has some great traits we can all consider and add to our "light or dark side". Use this information carefully.

1 - Focused purpose. Most of the characters we see in movies that are villains have an uncanny knack of being single-minded and focused on their grand plan, no matter what it is. Kylo Ren is no different. When we first meet him in the movie he is looking for something to help him find someone (I still want you to see the movie...LOL). He comes off his ship with the single purpose. He is so intent on finding what he needs that he even resorts to some extreme violence to get his hands on it.

Now, I don't want anyone feeling like their focus should be so intent that they would harm anyone to get what they want. We have enough trouble in the world without someone else causing pain. But, the concept of having a goal and doing our best to make every act we take to move us one step closer to that goal a reality is a great way to live. Kylo Ren has a single mission...for now. Once he gets to that point he will most likely have another single focused mission that leads to bigger and better things.

We can become so distracted with so many things around us. Social media. Games. Basic issues of life. They are everywhere. We can all take a lesson from Kylo Ren and stay as focused on our goals and missions so that every morning we rise and search the galaxy of our lives until we find it and move forward. What are you searching for? What do you want so badly you'd go to any length to achieve/acquire it? Find it and get focused like Kylo Ren.

2 - Passion. Anyone who has seen this Star Wars episode sees Kylo have, what many would call, a couple of "hissy fits". He gets a step in the right direction and due to circumstances things don't go as planned and he loses it. That lightsaber comes on and he trashes everything in the area where he is. Now, we can look at this intense villain and see that and think he is just showing an extreme amount of immaturity. I will argue, for the sake of this blog post, that what he is showing is a byproduct of his commitment and passion.

We've all seen things in life that lead us to believe we are one step closer to something amazing. All the pieces are in place. We've done the best job we could do. We're looking ahead to the next phase of the plan and BOOM! Something happens that upends us and our grand plan. Maybe we break down and cry. Maybe we punch a wall. Maybe we press the situation even harder to force the issue to happen our way. No matter what the action, it all points to a reaction and the passion we have for the outcome and the goals we have. Right? We don't see it right away, but when we calm ourselves we realize that our "rocket fuel explosion" is a byproduct of us seeing the end in our sights and outside forces we did not count on upend it and leave us grasping at air.

We all need that kind of fire and passion in what we want and we need to show that. It needs to consume us. Maybe not to the point of slashing a lightsaber into a star destroyer console, but a passion the world can see and know that we are headed in a direction.

3 - Prayer/meditation. Whether Sith or Jedi, a theme resonates through the movies of Star Wars that there is a higher power to help guide direction and purpose. We often see that these characters have quiet moments of reflection. They move away from others and find a place of seclusion where they can commune with something bigger than they are. Kylo Ren may feel like he is the ultimate power, but he purposefully takes time out to commune with his own thoughts and feelings as he gives himself time to reconnect with his true calling and purpose.

We have all felt the pull of things outside of our goals and ideals. Some of us can throw it off and deal with it. However, the strength in those moments of doubt can come from time in quiet reflection. Whether our method is focused breathing, or prayer, or a solitary walk, we can get the relief from the chaos this life can throw at us with those moments where we reconnect with ourselves, our mission, and the things that truly matter to us.

4 - Unrelenting. I know we have already mentioned Kylo's passion and focus, but his relentlessness is insane. In every instance in the movie, he shows up with a stride and attitude of power. He does his thing and then hits a roadblock. He has his "come apart" and then the next thing you know he's found another way to get what he wants and here he comes again. Think Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner.

What moments in our life do we drive and drive and keep hammering away and then we have a roadblock and we have that moment of wanting to throw our hands up and say, "Well, I guess it's over"? It's the easy way. Just walk away and work on something else or hide and wait until the loss doesn't sting as much any more. I find that people who do that don't really have the conviction in their cause and goals and giving up under an explosion of excuses is the ripcord they use when hit with adversity. Maybe the right answer is to keep going. Many times it's the fact that we keep "showing up" that makes the difference. Be unrelenting and keep after it like Kylo Ren.

5 - Battling when injured. When you see Kylo for the first few times he looks very imposing in his long and flowing robes and mask. He speaks and his mask makes him sound very ominous. He takes that mask off and suddenly he looks normal. Nothing fabulous. No scars. He's rather ordinary. That mixed with the occasional tantrum he has and you feel like this guy will go down at the first fight he actually gets in with anyone of any consequence. At a point in the movie he is shot by a blaster. It stings. It hurts. He bleeds. Our heroes try and escape through the woods and guess who is waiting for them. That's right, Kylo Ren. No mask. Hurt. Angry. Determined. He could have easily sent a trooper team to go after them, but he went and faced them himself. Before and during the lightsaber battle, we see him grit his teeth and punch the injured spot over and over until blood comes out of it. He goes from ordinary to extraordinary and you are suddenly worried for the heroes that they may not make it out of this alive.

We hear about athletes all the time "playing hurt". Some football players have even claimed to play with broken bones that happened during the game because they refused to be sidelined. We may not face physical injury and have to pull ourselves up and fight, but life has a way of hurting us. Have you ever had a client leave you? That stings. Have you ever had a family member pass away unexpectedly? That's a game changer. Every job and life out there has moments that feel about as good as a blaster fire to the body. You go down. You look inside and you're reeling. You're thinking, "I'll just lay here until help arrives." Most people would understand if you did. You got shot for goodness sake. You're hurting. They comfort you with all the cliches they can throw at you. They mean to be comforting and tell you it's ok to sit and wait until the pain subsides. Unfortunately, that's not what is always needed. Sometimes we have to play hurt. Sometimes we have to dig down deep to do what we know we should do after countless shots that are meant to take us down. Kylo Ren basically said, "I will not let a blaster hole in my body stop me from my end game." There are times where we have to be more like Kylo Ren and be willing to keep battling when injured.

6 - Practiced power. Kylo Ren didn't merely wake up one day with his abilities in the Force or his lightsaber skills. This power he possesses comes at a price. The price of dedication and correction and learning that, if he wants to be a powerful leader, he must endure and even look forward to.

I am not going to lie. I want to wake up some mornings and have it all right there. Full bank account. Every thing in my home perfect and fixed. My car washed and shiny and working like I just drove it for the first time. I want my relationships to all be happy and conflict free and I want to do it all because I deserve it (so I think in those moments). Reality checks come often in real life and if that day did come where everything was handed to me perfect and in order, I'm pretty sure I'd be in a state that doesn't care much about the things of life because I would (most likely) be dead.

We all have a power within us to do what we do and be who we are to be in this world. We did not just fall into that person. If we are honest with ourselves, we don't really believe that we will have everything we need handed to us. We also know how much work it took to get us to where we are now. Just like Kylo, we have to work on our power.  We have to practice...daily. No matter the things in our lives, hitting the pause button is not an option and we better be taking our moments to practice to master the power within ourselves so we can constantly be growing and getting better at who we are.

7 - Conflict. Kylo Ren may be labeled as the "bad guy", but we find out throughout the movie that he struggles with who he is. He struggles with his plan and his goals and all the inner "stuff" we all have. He comes to a point where he flat out admits that his torn up inside. He knows what he has to do and he can't find the strength to make the next move.

We've all been there. Pick your situation where you made a checklist of pros and cons and that's the moment in life much like what we are addressing here. We may not be working to conquer a galaxy, but it can seem that big when it's in our face and we are the one having to choose what we do next. Conflict is a part of life as well. We have choices. We can do one thing or another. We can examine consequences or not. The moment of truth is coming and it's up to us and we have to make the move. We have to "pull the trigger" and we want someone else to swoop in and make this moment disappear or to just do it for us. The key is we can't run from conflict. We have to be set in our mind and allow the conflict to either change our thinking or we can stay on course and continue. We all have our moments of conflict, just like Kylo Ren. Work through it and it may not change a universe, but it can rock your own world pretty well.

8 - Listening to people. Kylo Ren has a lot of moments in the movie where he interacts with others. He has very few that he genuinely listens to and that is both part of his strength and his weakness. He listens to his leader. He doesn't listen to the commander of the battleship. He listens to Rey (the female "hero"). He doesn't listen to Han. It's all part of what makes him who he is. It's part of what we are as well.

The first thing we have to realize is that we need others. Opinions. Thoughts. Advice. It comes at us when we ask and many times when we don't ask. The point to take is that we have an opportunity to listen to everyone or no one. The lesson from Kylo is for us to be careful who we listen to and the conclusions we make from that. Not everyone on our lives have our best interests at heart and some have only the best we may not even be able to see yet. The choice to listen or not is ours. The choice who we choose to listen to or not is also ours. Be mindful. While I may not personally agree with who Kylo chose to listen to, he listened to those who were on point with his goals and drive. Find those people in your life and keep listening. I'll take it one step further. Listen to everyone. You never know when that nugget of verbiage makes an impact on your life you...and no one else...saw coming.

I hope there is something you can take from this article. I did quite a bit of inner inventory as I worked on it and I am certain I will keep doing that as the years go by. Kylo Ren may be considered a villain or a monster (as Rey calls him), but as with many things in life we can learn from him and take some valuable things with us that will make us better versions of ourselves. So, be well. Have a super day and week and May the Force Be With You.

The YouTube video below is an edited clip of the final battle where we see Kylo Ren showing his ability to "play hurt" and keep coming.

The Dangers Of Speaking For Yourself

It's never just about you

In my business of insurance and benefits, I come in contact with people every day. People ask me questions, I give them information, and then they usually make some level of decision as to what their next move will be.
Every now and then, I come across the person with no questions and a surly attitude about the entire insurance "scam" process by saying the six words destined to come back around and spank them firmly on the tookis..."IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TO ME".
Just typing that hurts. However, in some cases they might be right (to a certain degree). I can't predict the future any more than they can, however, I know of people who have never spent a day in the hospital, have never been to see a doctor, never taken a medication, or had anything happen to them physically or mentally that they needed to be concerned with.
Should someone like that really see the need to insure themselves. I think so but I can see where they are coming from. Call it luck, good genes, or born under a favorable sign. Whatever it is, the "charmed ones" feel invincible and impervious to painful situations where they will ever need a shred of insurance. They even go so far as to be very cavalier with their aging process and inevitable death as they say, "WHAT DO I CARE...I'LL BE DEAD".
This is where I take my chance to speak up and remind people that it's not all about them.The discussion could go on for days with just a simple phrase of "But what if?" They can reply back and I'll reply with the same phrase until one of us just agrees to disagree and move on.
The harsh reality about insurance of all kinds is the fact that it really is not all about the person in the place of decision. In all insurance aspects, other people in the lives of the decision-makers come into play. Let's look at a few insurance pieces and I'll show you what I mean:

1 - Health insurance. This is the big one. Sure it's expensive, but so is health care. By saying no to health insurance you are telling all those around you that should something happen to you you are counting on them to help you pay the exorbitant hospital bill. By saying no to health insurance, you are telling all your future creditors that you don't care if you have to file for bankruptcy.

2 - Disability insurance. Disability insurance allows you to have an income while you are away from your job due to some illness or injury. Unless you are able to accumulate sick days or have a pretty big savings account (which is a form of insurance), a disability can ruin you...and those around you. Things happen every day that keep people from doing their jobs. Some of those things last a couple of days while others can last a year or more...or indefinitely. From the time it takes a working person to go from injured to getting any government assistance to gain income, it could be two years or more. What do you think happens in that time? Your stuff starts getting taken from you. So when things start to fall apart, where does the wise one now turn for help? That's right...others. Those people he didn't think about to begin with are now his lifeline to survival.

3 - Life insurance. I go over this one until I am blue in the face. While the insured doesn't care what happens to them when they die, others and the law do. The "hefty bag" answer is not an option. A "Weekend At Bernie's" comedy is not in the cards. Life insurance has never been about the insured. It's always been about who they leave behind when they die. Even for the single 20-something, life insurance says to their friends and family that they will financially take care of their final expenses and leave the money so that things may be done properly and in order.

As I type this, I am reminded of one word this all boils down to...RESPONSIBILITY.

My last statement is this: the next time you have a decision to make, ask if anyone else will directly or indirectly be effected by this decision at some point and how making the right one can make for a better situation for everyone involved.

It's never just about you.

Would you like to talk about insurance options for yourself? How about for others in your life who need to consider the options they have?

I try to be a phone call (205-370-8453) or an email (gene@generamsay.com)

Since I used RESPONSIBILITY (it's ok to admit that sometimes you just don't want it) as the key word in here, I thought a funny take on it would be in order:

The POWER of Social Media...Should It Have So Much?

You see it in the news almost daily.  You may have friends who have been affected by it.  Almost all of us use it and everyone should be aware of it.  It's social media.  Whether you are on MySpace, or Facebook, or LinkedIn.  Whether you post or like or tweet, you are a member of the social media empire.
Social media has taken the world by storm.  Business is conducted by it.  People are introduced and re-introduced through it.  It's really inescapable in today's society. It's a valuable tool and a great way to find and connect with people from all over the globe who either know you or would like to communicate with you on things that connect you (hobbies, likes, loves, etc.).
I started my stint in social media when MySpace first came out.  Needless to say that was short-lived as I quickly realized that most people were misusing the platform to try and "hook up" rather than connect.  So, upon deleting that account I said that social media and sites like that were NOT for me.  Fast forward to almost 2 and half years ago. I got word that my high school band director had fallen very ill.  He and the band meant so much to me that I decided to start collecting memories and reconnecting with classmates from that era that I had, like many of us, lost touch with.  Since time was if the essence with my band director's health I needed my connections to be quick.  I hesitated but soon joined Facebook.  I found quite a few people from the high school days and that quickly turned into hundreds.  I kept waiting for the "evil" of it all to hit me but found that I had more control over who, what, and why.  With this connection through Facebook I connected with people not just from high school, but even elementary school and college.  Family connected with me and soon I was a part of the Facebook phenomena.  In fact, as I started to see the potential in this for my insurance business I built a page just for that where people who are interested in that part of my life can "Like" it and follow as I put information out there for people to see and possible use.  This led to joining LinkedIn, and then Twitter. MySpace even revamped their site and I rejoined there with some better securities and ability to decide who I wanted to connect with.
Connections were happening and the experience was going well.  Then I started to read articles written about Facebook and blogs and how people were being fired from their jobs or not even considered for employment because of their social media life.  It really kind of took me by surprise.  While I am the last person to support a liberal view on certain things, this seemed to almost fly in the face of the rights of others to have a life.  Social media was supposed to be all fun and games and maybe some business on the side but to get fired for a certain post or photo? I still think on this subject quite a bit and wonder where this all came from.  When did social media start bleeding into all the facets of our lives to the point where we are almost afraid to be who we are for fear someone might see who we really are?
To be "preachy" for a moment...I know people sometimes do silly things.  Some people even don't think before they do or say something.  It's a human epidemic. However, I believe in the power of others to change.  Many people change daily.  Some don't realize they need to. Is it fair for a society to base their total picture of someone on their Facebook posts and pictures?  Is it any more fair to judge someone based on their looks or ethnicity? Someones looks are hard to change, but people's opinions and values and thoughts can change daily.  It's what makes us human.
Social media is powerful.  It can connect in the click of a button two people who have nor seen each other in decades.  It can be an avenue of sharing the good and the bad of life to help make it all more meaningful and bearable. Should it get someone fired?  Should it cause people to tune you out because you are venting about a major event in your life and you are searching for perspective from anyone who might listen?  I'm not totally sure.  I struggle with this daily, as I stated earlier.  However, I do do believe social media has enough power that those of us who choose to exercise it need to be responsible.  Here are just a few things you may want to keep in mind before you click "Update" or "Tweet" the next time:

 - Be careful who you connect with. There are so many people out there in the social media realm.  Some are legit people and others are just looking to connect and then wreak havoc on your life.  The good news is, with social media those troublemakers are one DELETE button away.  However, if you will use your wisdom and the wisdom of others you can save yourself the nuisance by being careful before you "Accept" anyone.
 - Think before you post. There is good and bad news about social media.  The good news is that people read your stuff.  The bad news is...people read your stuff.  If you are going to put it out there for the world to see, understand that the minute you do you will most likely make a friend and an enemy.  It puts a line in the sand on who you are and to most it reflects the person inside who wrote it.  It can't be helped...it's just the way it is.
 - Pictures are worth a thousand words...but can cost you even more than that. Just because you take the photo does not mean you have to post the photo. Photos are kind of like the words we type. They reflect an image of who we are.  Some of those photos could be unflattering or too revealing for the general public to consume. Too many good teachers have lost their jobs because during Spring Break they decided to wear a bikini at the beach and post their photos to share.  Too many possible clients have lost the deal because of the birthday bash photos showing people drinking tequila shots off some body's navel. When you post those photos, people will see them.  Be cautious how much you want everyone to see.
 - Just because you have the right to post doesn't mean you should. Ah yes, the freedom of speech mantra. It's true but you have to understand that some things are best left unsaid, unwritten, or unposted. Getting into a text war with your ex on your Facebook page may not be your best plan if you want the general population to think of you as a class act and someone they would like to get to know. While certain things in your life many be true, it does not necessarily mean everyone wants or needs to know about it. We all have our issues and feelings...but sharing them with the world is where we have to draw the line between using our right or using our head.
Should social media have the power it does? Not sure, but it does anyway. It has become what we have fed it and how much we have put stock in it. It's just the way it is now. Just remember, your social media can not have any surprising power over you if you are wise in what you choose to share. While we all appreciate honesty, it doesn't mean sharing it all is your best decision in the long run. If you want to vent or speak loudly on something or show off that great tan, go old school and meet for coffee. Then maybe share the photos of you and your friends having a good time together and NOT the crazy photo of you throwing the TV off the second floor balcony.